If you’re like me, you like your car to look clean, inside and out. I can tolerate some dust from the road, but bird poop? That’s a different story. Since my car is black, even the smallest mess ...

I have a poop problem. This may sound a bit vulgar – "low register," as an online slang dictionary termed it – but I bought a new car and birds are pooping all over it. Yes, I know, the word "poop" ...